Saturday, September 29, 2007

Resting in Pieces

Slowly, slowly. Yeah, like that. No sudden movements, please. There. Thanks. I'll be here for a while, you go ahead and take some time off. I'll yell if I need anything. Thanks for carrying me around.

My muscles are on strike. Including that tiny muscle with the weird long name. What is it? Levator palpebrae superioris alaeque nasi? I'm not sure. The fever's left me more or less paralysed. And the ENT people aren't helping at all. They insist on our arriving at 8.30 AM sharp and then refuse to let us leave before 12 PM. And we do. They use a sneaky underhand method for achieving this level of obedience. Attendance! Also, in order to build character, humility, endurance, and hatred for the department, they don't allow us to sit down at any point of time between 8.30 and 12.00. They sit in their OPD, they often perform the surgery sitting down, they lie down in between 2 procedures, but undergrads sitting down? A glare is unleashed every time someone rests against the window sill.

Since I can't protest against the ******* department, my muscles have shown their displeasure by refusing to support my weight beyond 12 o'clock. My weary unit mates can be seen carrying out a limp body everyday after class. They put it inside an auto rickshaw and instruct the driver to take it home. He calls the body's parents after he reaches the destination, and the body's parents, giving anguished cries like "Ayyo ente moley.... Tumhe kya hua?" (Ayyo my daughter, what happened to you?) et al, carry it inside and attempt to feed it. The thing gives a few croaks after a while, signifying the end of the meal, and is then put on a bed. Meanwhile, the auto driver, who had been waiting for his fare to be paid all this time, barges in and demands his money. The body's father sadly parts with his cash and starts weeping. After a few hours of immobilty, the body suddenly sits up and starts talking, and the entire family gathers around it. "I am hungry. I want food. I am hungry. I want food." Amazed by the quick recovery, they soon ply it with food, after which it goes back to its former states, and gets up for food later. It is again fed, and everyone goes to sleep, because by then it's bedtime. The body wakes up fresh and relaxed the next day, and goes off for ENT posting. There it is again tortured, and the sad cycle repeats itself.

I would have done anything had the subject been interesting. I've thrown in 14 hours a night during my Medicine (and Surgery) postings, staying nights and all, rushing around the ward, pockets bulging with needles, syringes, tourniquets, cotton, with the satisfaction of actually doing something, and going home the next morning bursting with energy. This 'zimbly standing' business is getting on my nerves. There is nothing we can do to help, and we don't want to, either. ENT sucks. I haven't hated a subject more, unless it's Orthopaedics. And maybe Ob-G. But Obs was at least interesting, if not fun, although Gynaec more than made up for any interest we may have felt for the subject, with the Family Planning posting reinforcing our decision to stay away from Ob-G as a whole.

I must be the only person who actually looks forward to final year, because it means I can go back to Medicine. It will be hectic, exhausting, taxing, worrying, and a lot of other things, but it will be Medicine.

Here come the pall bearers. Back to bed now.

16 comments:

Parul said...

It always helps to have something to look forward to...
We, human beings, thrive on hope after all.
Nice post!

Sreejith said...

i agree.. 8:30 is too early by any standards! but if u don't exercise your muscles they will start rusting in pieces ;)

Ziah said...

Lol ap - you're getting worse as ENT progresses.. :)

We lawyers feel like you when we do this crap called "Due Diligence" - an experience that is literally mind numbing! Anyways.. :)

Spunky Monkey said...

I think I am ready to die.
I can't study any more.

Kavitha said...

Being a ENT patient sucks too....

Beleive me for I have been one. From the past 15 days....

It Sucks....

Tys on Ice said...

ente mole, entu patti...i do realize that it may seem like i called u a dog, but u know wht i meant...hope u r feeling much better now...but just to summarize, u fainted in surgery, collapsed in ENT ....u r just the sort of doctors we need..the empathising kind...and how.

:) couldnt resist...just get better.

Di said...

u fainted during surgery!!*di laughs out loud and runs away hoping AP never gets her chance to get back* shudder *

Keshi said...

LOL I love the title!

Just take it easy girl...breathe, have fun, study in between ;-)

TC!
Keshi.

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

When I was young (Ok, YOUNGER) these folks would bend down and ask me "so money.. what do you want to be when you grow up?" In all sincerety, I would say I wanted to be a snake charmer, and they would be like "Look, we dont have a doctor in the house. Doctor, OK?"
And I would run away.
I sympathise with you, completely. Probing peoples nonses for goo.. yuck!
:))

Pravin said...

you still have a long way to go. *grin*

Ziah said...

Hey AP!! Waiting for that weekly update!! (You survived ENT??:)

Also, wondering... I dont think much of my writing skills, but decided to tell a few tall tales on my blog nevertheless (See my guts!!:)!

So I just posted here.. want to know what you think of it:
http://tellintalltales.blogspot.com/

Love, Ziah!

mathew said...

Doctor madam...If you guys start sayin like this..we patients are lost!!;-P

GuNs said...

Ouch! That is terrifying.

Adorable Pancreas said...

@parul:
Hope keeps us alive, na.
Thank you!

@sreejith:
Where do I find you? I have a new guillotine, and I'm dying to use it.

@ziah:
Sad, but true.

@spunky monkey:
I can make the funeral arrangements. For a small fee, naturally.

@kavitha:
Oh, I know. You must be better by now, I hope.

@tys on ice:
I'm ok now. :)
About the rest, my guillotine isn't picky. :P

@di:
Mera number aaega, and then you'll de a painful death.

@keshi:
Thanks. I will. :)

@toothless wonder:
I wanted to a bus conductor! I wanted to ring the bell and play with the tickets. It would have been preferable to making a living out of earwax.

@pravin:
I do, I know. :(

@ziah the second:
Weekly errr... Uh. um. ah. errr... *sheepish grin*
I've left a comment on your blog. :)

@mathew:
We have our bad days too. :(

@guns:
Ouch is right. I'm ok now, though. :)

S said...

i am glad you are interested in medicine. At the least it will not tire you out physically. There is no end to intellectual stimulation. A patient may come for sore throat, but he may have clubbing and nicotine staining of his moushtache. Makes you feel like Sherlock Holmes. You will never be bored if your attitude is to explore and learn. That ends once you sub-specalise.

Hershey Desai said...

"My muscles are on strike"
Can I use that statement sometime or is it copyrighted?

lovely description though..quite similar to living in a zombie like state.

The only reason I am keeping this comment short is because I have shown enough favoritism towards you and should get going now...got a whole list of others blogs to read out.