Sunday, May 25, 2008

Through the Years

You know what’s unfair? I’ll tell you what’s unfair. Having an exam every week, that’s what’s unfair. You know what’s even more unfair? Having an exam in SPM every week. Can you think of anything worse? No? Our department of SPM could, and did. They are going to send our marks in these rotten exams to the University, so if we do really badly on these, we will not eligible to take our final exams. If you can think of worse stuff to torture medicos with, send your résumé to "The Department of Community Medicine, Some Medical College, Anywhere in India."

In other news, I have passed both my Ophthalmology and (surprise!) SPM end posting exams. The drinks are on me, folks.

Now, since I have a lot of free time coming up, thanks to the lovely exams, I shall be blogging more often now. And my posts will not contain any pictures.* There, you have been warned.

A fan of mine, and a classmate. Has attended exactly one class in these last four years, and that was because he followed me (and my friends) into one. He disappeared shortly after this picture was taken, and has not been seen or heard of since. Anyone possessing information about him, please let me know. You shall be rewarded for your efforts.

"Ha, a poet! Know him by
The ecstasy-dilated eye,
Not uncharged with tears that ran
Upwards from his heart of man."

Our class went to Kodaikanal, Mysore and Coorg a couple of years ago. She carried a notebook and pen at all times, and wrote poetry throughout the entire trip. Oh, the agony. Here you can see her composing an ode to the red flowers that match her clothes. The flowers died as soon as she began reading out her monstrosity to them, and then the security guards came and kicked us all out of the park for committing unspeakable atrocities on flowers. She probably wrote about the pulverisation of tender emotion by the unloving hand of man on the way home.

The Pharmacology people have a lot of charts like this. We are supposed to "explain the graph" and answer the questions on a piece of paper, and when called up, to read it to the examiner, who will then indulge in chori ask us more questions. A friend of mine got this chart, and she started with, "This is a graph showing the effects of different drugs on a dog's blood pressure. A baseline recording-" to be interrupted by the terrifying examiner asking her, "What dog?" Luckily, if she had said the first thing that came to her mind, she would have failed the exam then and there, but after racking her brain for a couple of hours (or what seemed like a couple of hours to her), she managed to hit on the right answer- an anaesthetised dog. In case you were wondering, her instincts told her that it was a German Shepherd. I would have answered that it was one of the stray dogs living in our campus. Now you know what happened to my friend.

This was the last specimen for my Pathology practical exam. The examiner was surrounded by uteri, and she picked this up, and told me I could leave as soon as I answered this last one (having screwed up on all her previous questions). All those uteri sitting on her left side had misled me, and I told her that this was a specimen of uterus containing a vesicular mole (which, in my defence, is also a feathery looking thingy in a hollow cavity). Imagine my surprise when I found out later that I had indeed passed my Path labs. :)

My mom spends most of her free time taking embarrassing pictures of our cat (and also pictures of her daughter staring at a candle flame, and worse) on her cell phone camera. STAY CALM! DO NOT PANIC! This fierce warrior is asleep and will not attack you. I repeat, HE WILL NOT ATTACK YOU! Unless the sound of your running feet wakes him up, of course.

More pictures next time, if there is one. There always remains the possibility of the Park sucking into the void.

*Sarcasm: raw and scornful use of apparent approval to express disapproval. And no, not the meaning I was looking for.

14 comments:

the stygian sailor said...

he he he he...
you ll keep giving exams. dont worry this is just the beginning. final year you ll have to take countless tests. when you are done if you aspire for a PG in India then more tests... best of luck

brocasarea said...

hmm....good spotters u got there!!![we too had those] ....but vescicular mole is described as "cluster of grapes" or snow storm"...guess it not an ideal specimen!!!....how come u are giving both patho and PSM in the same year??

Adorable Pancreas said...

the stygian sailor,
Dear lord, do I know that! Like my friend says, yeh to sirf ek sample hai. :( Thanks!

brocasarea,
Vesicular mole was not a specimen for us undergrads, but you never know what those external examiners might do. A friend of mine got a bullous keratopathy case on his Ophthal exam.
These are random pictures from my four years at college. The transitional cell carcinoma was from my last exam, held last year.

Pranay said...

Hehehehe funny...and I agree with your last post....the Government is totally against Doctors...the most over worked and underpaid profession and that too after going through 6 yrs of Med school.Makes you wanna run away...
I just passed out this year :)

Prats said...

Isn't that what a medico's life is all about...????
So now you're done with SPM and Optho ...great...how many more to go..?

All the best...and chill....we're ready for any number of posts....just put a curtain on all those gory pictures...pleasee.... :)

Tys on Ice said...

damn...i really thought it looked like a torn pillow...

u hve put me off my lunch.

again.

brocasarea said...

@ adorable..hmm...ok..yeah ext examiners are really nuts some times...final year needs 51% luck for passing!!!

J said...

Lol.. It sure is unfair.

Hillarious blog, especially the pics & the write ups. Keep em' coming

Tea N. Crumpet said...

Taking exams, giving exams. It never ends. At least you are not diagramming sentences.

saphire said...

" She carried a notebook and pen at all times, and wrote poetry throughout the entire trip."

i expected the next sentence to b something senti :S

and yeah...ur poocha has name? :)

Somebody Else said...

Ha, if all enthusiastic bondage-ahem-love aficionados apply to Medical colleges, what will we engineering students do for admins?

et annnother hill-hair-eous post.

Mithrandir said...

hmmm interesting pictures....
i had similar experiences in my pathology exams. an internal examiner kept asking me how the vesicle like things in a hydatidiform mole look like,i kept telling him-grapes he was not satisfied....now i am thinking i must have told him-small hydatid cysts!

Adorable Pancreas said...

pranay,
Danx!
I hope you don't have the rural posting to deal with. That is the stupidest thing I've heard.

prats,
I am not done with SPM and Ophthal. 3 more months of that left. Oh, and ENT. And then a years of medicine, surgery, paeds, and ObG, after which I will become an intern. A year after that, I officially become a doctor. Takes 6 freaking years!
No gory pictures. Point noted. :)

tys on ice,
It's good for your weight. I was only trying to help. :(

brocasarea,
Do I know it. I got a crazy woman on my Anatomy exam. It's a wonder I passed.

j,
Thank you!

tea n. crumpet,
But I am staring at horrible diseased ears and noses.

saphire,
Oh, I HATE poetry. :)
And poocha goes by the name of Pankajakshan Karthavu. He reminds my mom of her neighbour of the same name.

somebody else,
Not all of them. There are people like Bloodless (a classmate, severely anaemic).
Thangyoo. Thangyoo.

mithrandir,
And what do hydatid cysts look like? Tender coconut! :D

Pranay said...

Sadly I do....but am not doing it...feels so sad...It's like extortion!!!