Sunday, November 11, 2007

Resultant Happiness

I paaaaaaaassed!
That made me feel like Mushu the ‘dragon’. Anyway, the 3rd year results are out. All of us have done pretty well. I feel like an idiot now, agonising over mere Pathology and Pharmacology.

This is my last week in Orthopaedics. I am the first (and only) girl in my batch to have set a fracture. Not one of those Amazons, but ol’ pencil arm. (Certain congenital idiots reach for my arms when they get pieces of chicken stuck between their teeth, but they are always ignored. Corpulent jackasses.) Reducing a Colles fracture is not a one-man job, you need one person to give traction, another for counter-traction, and a third one corrects the displacement. I pulled the patient’s hand (traction), and there was this sound like what is produced when you crack your knuckles. That was the bone fragments aligning themselves. It was a very rewarding experience. Which was why I kept grinning like an imbecile throughout.

I can read X ray films now. The picture on the right shows a beautiful supracondylar fracture of the humerus in a 12-year-old boy. It's a fracture that has to be reduced as soon as possible, because it goes in for dangerous complications. The major artery of the arm passes in front of the elbow, and the fractured fragment can injure it. *sigh* If only Anatomy had been taught by clinicians.

I do crazy stuff these days, like going to college on holidays. The casualty sure is addictive. I wish they offered a PG course in Emergency Medicine in India. I know what I'd sign up for. It's the only reason I'm contemplating taking the USMLE. Remind me to change the channel the next time E.R. comes on.

Today is the last day of the Intermedicos, our annual excuse to fight with the other medical colleges in the state. I’ve never attended a single one. Damn.
The first one was held in my own college. But my dad decided against my going, and had a heart attack. He always had a flair for the dramatic.
The second one was at Kottayam. I was all set to break some Achayan hearts, but they got wind of my coming, and cancelled it.
The third one. This year. Dammit. I was not given permission to go. I didn’t want to risk my dad’s heart falling to pieces, so here I am.
The last I heard, we were 30 points behind. I knew I should have gone over and intimidated become friendly with the judges. I sing, you know. Now I may have to disown my college.

My cat fooled me into thinking she had kittens. Close inspection made me think she was right, but on palpation, they were revealed to be the evil progeny of Satan and Dracula. I don’t think tetanus shots are any good against warding off evil spirits. Maybe if the constituting fluid used was garlic dissolved in Holy normal saline.

Arch wanted to watch horror movies over the weekend, and turned to us for suggestions. My scotophobia and hyperactive nocturnal imagination prevent me from watching anything scarier than the Hindu mythology serials on Doordarshan, so I couldn't help much, until horrible memories of watching the last scenes of a movie where an evil toy comes to life, resurfaced. I just couldn't remember the name of the movie, and turned to the guy sitting behind me for help. He couldn't recall the name either, and he asked his friend.
1st guy: Da, what's that name of that movie in which one boy's toy comes alive and tries to kill him?
2nd guy: Ayyo, I know that.
1st guy: I do too. Something like..
2nd guy: Got it. Playboy!

Got yet another test this week. Those SPM people seem to have nothing better to do than correct answer papers and chase mosquitoes to find out whether they are Aedes or Culex. If anyone is building a new toilet, make sure it slopes 45 degrees. That is the kind of useful stuff we learn in SPM. Clumps of my hair will be available for sale as soon as I finish reading the anti-insomniac-cum-hallucinogen known as Park’s textbook of Preventive and Social Medicine. The money will go towards the treatment and rehabilitation of former medical students suffering from delusions of being persecuted by the Department of Community Medicine. Bidding begins now! Loosen those purse strings, generous people! It's all for a good cause. And my hair is very nice- long, black (appears dark brown in bright sunlight) and wavy. So place your bid NOW!!!


Sreejith said...

whoa! imdb says there are 348 titles with playboy in it! anyway my bid is 1 smiley ball + 1 broken floppy without the magnetic tape + 1 banana peel and i'll throw in a picture of a pig i just drew on mspaint a few seconds back. what say? deal?
and lady, we demand answers to all those unanswered comments!

mathew said...

congrats on clearing the exams..i know its tough in medicos..for engineers clearing exams are as easy as breaking chopsticks.. ;-P

fracture correction is easy..aint it..u just got to do some trial and will fit in somewhere.. ;-P

manuscrypts said...

an authentic bone setter in our midst.. congrats :)

the stygian sailor said...

spm is all about these golden words- 'environmental sanitation'and 'health education'.
sneak em in any answer you write and viola you get brownie points

Tys on Ice said...

the movie was Chucky..

and just for my info, if the toilets are going to be at 45 degrees, doesnt tht interfer with the squat angle also?..hmmm, worrying...

dhs.10 for the hair...going..going...

Spunky Monkey said...

Congratulations. And Bhesh Bhesh.
Treat yourself to Benaana chips.

Ziah said...

congraats girl! Nice going:)

Now, whatever happened to that cute boy we were eyeing??? :)

Emperor Ropi said...

wow you study difficult subjects

Tea N. Crumpet said...

Congrats to you on passing the exams!

How many languages do you speak? Do your profs teach medicine in English?

Keshi said...

cool - congrats! :)

u n ur cat LOL!

**for engineers clearing exams are as easy as breaking chopsticks..

yeah rite Matt LOL!


Nariyal Chutney said...

Congratulations :) . How can be a fracture be beautiful :))? . Doctor Lingo , I think :P

Adorable Pancreas said...

I think I hear someone bidding higher. And yes, you'll get those answers.

Thanks! I'll just have to take your word on that my cousin is sweating bullets for his B.Tech 7th sem results.
The fracture, it's not as simple as that, but yeah, it's a little like that.

Thank you. :)

@the stygian sailor:
I did that, along with 'distribution and magnitude of health problems in the community'. It's one sick subject.

@tys on ice:
The toy is Chucky.
Maybe it's 55 degrees. I didn't pay too much attention.
120 bucks for my long, lustrous locks? That's less the cost of one individual hair, but since you're my friend, you get 2 hairs for that price.

@spunky monkey:
Thanks. But they're not in season right now. :(

Thank you!
I decided he wasn't worth it. The whole 'sour grapes' routine.

@emperor ropi:
Difficult and boring. It's even worse.

@tea n. crumpet:
Thank you.
That's an unusual question. Anyway, I speak 4 languages (counting my measly knowedge French. It won't help me much if I get lost in Paris, but I can read books, with some input from a dictionary.) And yes, we learn in English.

Thanks. My cat is evil incarnate, so it's no surprise about her kids.

@nariyal chutney:
Thank you.
A lot of fractures are easily missed by us. But this one's saying 'Here I am! Here I am!'

smalltowndoc said...

Nice post as usual writtent in your own witty way. Keep it up. By the way they have MD in emmergency medicine in Ramachandra Medical College, Chennai. Suppposed to be good. So you do not have to cause a brain drain to learn emmergency medicine -

downright crazyyyy!!!!!!!!!! said...

congrats 4 passing ur exm.
u noe ...i hv wantd 2 b a doc...dat ws long bak , wen i no more tan a kid. good thng dat i gave up n it..sounds just lik a cakewalk , u noe...i don lik doing easy stuff.

Fighter Jet said...

The X ray pics was superb...!

tangled said...

yay Mushu! :)

And the movie's called Child's Play, y'all. Chucky it seems.