Friday, January 16, 2009

Dr. Jekyll and Chucky

I am in Smallville.

That is how I think about Paediatrics inside my head. Because children are small.

I can't stand Paediatrics.


But only literally.

My feet hurt. From standing on them. For hours. About five or six of 'em. Hours, that is. Not five or six feet. Because that would be weird. Not to mention shopping nightmares.



A lot of people believe Paeds is all about this:

It is.

Little kids are cute. Small babies are adorable. And tiny preemies are... let's be honest here. Scary. They could die any second.

Children are innocent, sweet, endearing, precious, playful, enchanting, talkative... (Yes, I used a thesaurus. So?)

What they also are, are monsters. Tiny monsters, but still, monsters. Allow me to demonstrate.

Picture a room with forty beds. Side by side, in two rows. Imagine each one occupied by the person pictured above, in that pose. Imagine the noise level. Multiply that by your favourite 6 digit number. Here, your imagination needs these. (I am genuinely sorry about the colour.)

You should totally visit our Paediatrics ward after the nurses have finished giving a round of injections. It will broaden your horizons. Trust me.

One day was devoted to Paediatric Surgery. There was this kid, less than two years old. Her grandmother had brought her to the OPD for post surgical follow up. She had had a surgery for a hernia, which is unusual in girl children. Well, it turned out she was not a 'she' after all. They found a pair of 'undescended testes' inside her during the surgery, and studies showed that the child was genetically male. 'She' had something called testicular feminising syndrome (it is as ghastly as it sounds) and externally appeared to be a girl. Now, the difficulty was in deciding whether to raise the child as a girl or a boy. Since 'she' already looked like a girl, it was settled that she would continue to be one. (The testicles would have to be removed, they were no good anyway, and there is a high risk of cancer later on.)

We rarely realise how lucky we are.


Merin Mandanna said...

Lol! Hilarious. And scary, at the same time! :|

(just happened to visit your blog. and I loved it! :) )

Bullshee said...

Yergh! Kids! Blah!

I hate myself for being one once!

I along with many others like the Great Barney Stinson, enjoy celebrating Happy Not a Fathers' Day!!!

Drwiz said...

Yeah, they could be monsters at times, especially when they spoil ur littmann :(

an experience...nothing short of it said...

there was a case like that in House MD.. a teen supermodel turns about to be a genetic male with undescended testes. and she is HOT!seen it?

Cathy said...

oh my gosh, that last story was scary! those poor parents!!

Sucheta said...

actually hilarious... i feel d same way abt our gynae postings... and all the goo!!!
gr8 blog, btw...

deluded said...


testicles intact.


Somebody Else said...

Shudder, Doc.

Each time I read about these cases, it spooks me out. Mann!!

Rockus said...

Awesome blog! Had me in splits most of the time. :)

Tea N. Crumpet said...

One of my kids was in NICU for a week; it was hell on me in spite of the doctors assuring me that there was NO REASON for concern. He weighed 5:15 at birth, other than slightly under-developed lungs, he was perfectly healthy.

I still remember my desperation and fear. I knew what happened in that area. When I want in an hour after his birth, a couple was coming out and the mom's and my eyes met. They'd lost their baby. She started crying and told me their story, then realized that I was about to see my baby, who she assumed was in there. She hugged me and wished me luck.

I don't envy you doctors. My baby was fine enough that I was able to observe everything that was happening to other parents around me while I nursed him and read him stories. The doctors would see me and joke about my little boy being a moose-- he only had tubes for three days and then he was fine on his own for observation for another few days. (He just celebrated his 9th birthday!) The pressure you all are under, by parents wanting their little ones to live, is beyond a doubt the greatest anyone has to endure.

That being said, your title kills me. Chucky-- one of my children was to go to a preschool and the assistant was a she-male figure with the nickname, "Chucky." I withdrew her based on the name alone. My husband had to call the preschool to confirm that there was indeed a person there with the nickname of Chucky and he was not upset that I withdrew her.

Anonymous said...

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