Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Entire Respiratory Tract

Er, hi. I did not die. But I came pretty close to it. And that statement is not just to make you feel sorry for me, it's almost true. Let us review the events of the last couple of weeks.

1. Medicine end posting exam
You know what that means, don't you? My posting in Internal Medicine is done with, and they wanted to find out how much I'd learnt in the 2 months I spent with them, not having seen anything about my posting on my blog. Ha ha. They don't read my blog, of course. Or they wold have known that I didn't know the causes of massive splenomegaly, and failed me without wasting time conducting exams.

The exam was weird. It's a practical exam, and we're given a real! live! patient and asked to figure out what disease he/she has. If it sound easy to you, **** you. Here's what happened.
Me: Good morning, I am Doctor (cough) AP.
Patient's daughter (PD): Student-aa? Which year?
Me: Final year.
PD: My dad is too sick to be poked and prodded by you stupid students. Go away.
Me (almost in tears): No, no. I have an exam.
PD: OK, on one condition. You don't touch him.
Me (thinks that as long as she does not have a gastrointestinal disease, this should go fine.): What trouble brought you to the hospital?
PD: Vomiting blood. Doctor Saar said my Appa has liver disease.
Me: I am so screwed.

I passed the exam (yay!), but only because the patient's daughter called my examiner a murderer when he palpated for the liver, and he realised why I had commented on the patient's enlarged liver as "liver not palpable."

2. New house
My mom and I have moved to another home, one that didn't feel like my Dad was going to walk in any moment. That reason for the move was stupid, because we can't wait for him to see this house and give it his seal of approval.

It's a tiny place, and the first week here was really hard, because THE STUPID INTERNET PEOPLE TOOK THEIR SWEET TIME WITH MY CONNECTION. As did the idiot cable people and the morons at the telephone department.

3. -itises
So while we were packing up all our stuff to be moved into the new house, I discovered that things? Collect dust. Like magnets. And this gave me allergic rhinitis, which got infected, and the next thing I knew, I was trying to cough up my lungs. The cough was so bad I got laryngitis and everything I said came out as a croak. And while I was getting over the bronchitis, the infection spread to my sinuses and I would spend hours in front of a steamer (not the kind that float on water). Then I found out my antibiotic was not working, and everything came back, so now I have rhinitis, pharyngitis, bronchitis, laryngitis and sinusitis. I haven't attended class for a week.

I have a date with my steamer now. See you next week.

P.S. I love getting "get well soon" cards and flowers. Just saying...


KeyzEr SoZe said...

loved the ednposting part,....especially so since mine is just around the corner! :)

brocasarea said...

lol..!!...cant believe she told that in front of the patient..!

Sumana said...

Oh wow get well soon with all the itises. We like to read more of your posts.

Parul said...

Hey AP,

your posts make me happy!

Arps said...

:) U were lucky with the patient! coz whenever I get a nasty one, somehow, he turns out to be Meanie McGrouchy just with me!! & gets all angelic-smile-faced-with-loads-of-new-bits-of-history for the Examiner!!

& hope you get whell soon! One week's a long time to miss Medical Colg! :)

k.ø.c.h.ü said...

It was ent end posting.n our group of 4 wer strugglin wid de examination part(de guy seemed 2 have cerebellar complications! Case was csom).de fistula test.v went on pressin de tragus. N de patient was askin us y v weren't lookin into his eyes.v didn't understand y.it was during viva that ma'am explained how 2 check 4 nystagmus during fistula test:-)

saphire said...

awww u poor thing... :(

no more doctor falling ill jokes!! Take care and get well soon! and thats an order! :)

Tys on Ice said...

get well soon girl...

hows the new house?

Ziah said...

Look the at the bright side... you passed an exam, you're off college and, with all the steaming, you're gonna achieve the dumb bimbo's ultimate dream.. ta da! clear skin!! :P

I'll leave you with that thought... :) Meanwhile, here's a get-well-soon hug!!:)

Anonymous said...

hey can you give a shout out to a new blog


check out the med student blog with amazing resources and notes


tangled said...

get well soon soon.

Anupam said...

Your medical posts will provide value at the online doctors community at meraMD.com. Many doctors have started using that a single platform for blogging. See if that is of interest to you.

Adorable Pancreas said...

keyzer soze,
Took me this long to figure out it was you. Change your name every other day, do you?

The patient was calling me names too. Those two are definitely family.

I'd tell you about how much better I am feeling now if I weren't so afraid of jinxing my good luck.

Oh, you are the best! Have an extra piece of cake!

I know! I was lucky the patient had a consistent dislike of doctors regardless of seniority. :)

Adorable Pancreas said...

God, how I hated ENT. If only the results were out, I could go birn my textbook.

Yes, ma'am! As you command!

tys on ice,
I don't like it much, but it was this or the middle of nowhere. At least it's close to college.

No wonder my skin's looking better these days. :D

Thank you!

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