Sleepless in Seattle, Glasgow, Manchuria, And Any Other Place You Can Think Of

To all of you weight watchers out there, I finally found a great plan GUARANTEED!!! to make you lose weight.

No tricks! No gimmicks!
Watch the pounds melt off your body!
Now with added sleep deprivation!
Order now and get a special offer on backstabbing colleagues!
HURRY!!!

No, wait. You will not actually get to watch the pounds melting, but melt they will. Like ice cream in a microwave.


Just become an intern at your local hospital. Not only will you be worked to death, you also get a barely visible number on your pay cheque!

I suppose you could find the same wonderful work environment in any old sweatshop, but you get to wear a stethoscope here! Beat that, slave drivers!

I could say a lot more, but I'm starving. And tired. And really sleepy. And rather smelly, too, if the neighbour's dog's reaction is anything to go by. If only I could eat while sleeping in the shower.