Friday, April 25, 2008

Pissed Happy Children

“These children know nothing about PHCs!”
“You are right, they think it stands for Personal Holding Company.”

“Deplorable!”
“Let’s show them!”

And thus it came to be, that the Pancreas and her friends were released from the torture chamber at the Department of Community Medicine, and sent to live in a village.

The Pancreas, having experienced rustic village life previously, knew exactly what to do. She packed her whole room into a bag, and added the kitchen sink too, for good measure. There wasn’t much space left for clothes, but this did not worry her. She had been informed that the most she would be able to do at the end of the day would be to crawl into bed with a prayer of thanks.
“3 days, 2 dresses, and the one I’m wearing. This will be more than adequate.”
In retrospect, that was an extremely stupid notion.

The Pancreas could not lift her bag. But her friends could, and did. (She loves them all very much, and will be eternally grateful to Skoda, the A and Scarhead.)

The Pancreas was bewildered. Was this the village? The rural village on top of a hill in the middle of nowhere that they were posted in? But it had a shop that actually sold shampoo. Real shampoo, with Sunsilk written on the bottle in big, bold letters.

The Pancreas went to the PHC. She was surprised to see actual, honest-to-goodness patients there, and her eyeballs popped out and did a tango when she saw in-patients.

The Pancreas met some of the villagers. She went into their homes, and saw old ladies watching Ente Manasa Puthri [My Insane Daughter] on Asianet.
“Shampoo and mega serials on cable, this must be a city.”

The Pancreas made her way back to the convent they were going to stay in. This time, the tiles on the floor did not raise her eyebrows, but the toilet did. She nearly wept with joy when she saw that the toilet was better equipped than her own toilet back home.

The Pancreas flourished under the excellent food provided by the nuns. She was very happy, and decided to stay there forever.

The Pancreas had a teacher, known as Dr. Wick. Dr. Wick wanted the Pancreas and all her friends to become experts in SPM. Dr. Wick was loads of fun, and they all loved him, and so they decided to work. And how they worked! They conducted surveys among the people of the ‘village’, they interviewed patients in the PHC, they talked to doctors and nurses and pharmacists and drivers, they formulated health programmes and held discussions about the merits and demerits of immunisation programmes; they ate, slept and thought SPM. And it was fun. For the first time in their lives, they realised how SPM worked, and they were happy.

We had joy, we had fun
We held surveys in the sun.
But the hills that we climbed
Were so steep I had a fall*.

The Pancreas and her friends worked hard, and Dr. Wick was pleased with them.
“I shall take you to a lion safari park on our way back,” he said, and there was much rejoicing.

The Pancreas saw a lion, and four lionesses. The lion saw the Pancreas, and he smiled at her. The lionesses growled, and the lion returned to his den. She told her friends waiting in line about it, and they laughed at her.
“You checked the sex too?” and there was much guffawing. They returned subdued, because they hadn’t realised that lions had manes, and lionesses did not.

The Pancreas returned home, tired, but happy, and kissed her cat, and got scratched on her nose.

P.S: Some people think PHC stands for Primary Health Centre.
P.P.S: I hate Medical Entomology. I don't know, or care about, the species of mosquito feeding on my blood. I will zap them all with my AllOut mosquito repellent, and that's it. Gah.

*Almost.

14 comments:

~nm said...

That was quite good trip! Especially with the lion watching added ;o)

And hey, the new template looks nice!

Tys on Ice said...

:)....how coincidental that the villagers were watching ' my insane daughter' whn u turned up.

btw, the mane on a lion is to protect his ear from the nagging...u try living with 4 wives.

Tea N. Crumpet said...

LOL I had an alligator smile at me in Vancouver. His head was resting on a turtle. My mom said that he was smiling at me because he would stand on the tip of his tail and bite little girls' fingers off who put them though the gate.

Aiswarya said...

The Pancreas returned home, tired, but happy, and kissed her cat, and got scratched on her nose.

ha ha ha. U shud have sedated it before u kissed it!!

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

i got scratched by a cat too - just like you!
and I had a fun trip out in the country, only it had some extra dew.

where is the lion safari?

Ziah said...

'Villages' are more prosperous babe! Rents are cheap, so's food... so with all the money they save they buy mercs!! Tsk Tsk. How I wept with jealousy:(

By the way, its time you got a dog... they normally lick you silly when you're back from a break..:) Sigh! someone loves you!:)

Mithrandir said...

nice account of your trip! your style of writing is good. i am a regular reader of your blog, i am a medico too.... have linked to your account, do visit my blog too.
p.s: i did think phc stood for primary health centre;-)

Nikhil Narayanan said...

Lemme guess the "village"

Somewhere close to Neyyar?? ;)

booboosmamma said...

Looks like u had fun during ur trip to rural india, and i cannot disagree with you as far as changes in the villages are concerned.
by the way, i can read your posts but cannot comment on them while at work and after work its a mad rush.

saphire said...

have been away for long..and moved a bit...i hope someone noticed :( rem me?

Adorable Pancreas said...

~nm,
It sure was! :)
But this is still the old template. :)

tys on ice,
I have one wife, and that's when I started letting my hair grow. She doesn't belong to me, luckily. that honour goes to the pater.

tea n. crumpet,
My parents had to forcefully restrain me from jumping into the crocodile enclosure. They (the crocodiles, not my parents)looked like logs, it was a very hot day, and there was a pool.

aiswarya,
I tempted her with food. I don't know what went wrong. :(

toothless wonder,
Cats scratch. I will never learn my lesson.
Extra dew? You're not talking about the same place I am in, are you? Because I sweat blood these days.
The safari park is inside the dam. Not literally, of course.

ziah,
It hasn't got to that stage yet. We saw a lot of huts, with mud walls and thatched roofs where you can't stand upright. India is progressing, but not at the same rate everywhere.
My mom hates dogs. She hated cats too, until the clever girl learnt to make her cry sound like "Ammm-mmmeeeow". The cat got a piece of fish for its efforts, but when I tried the same thing I got a knock on my head. Mothers are funny.

mithrandir,
Thangyoo!

nikhil narayanan,
You ought to be correct, but you're not. It was rather a long trip to Neyyar. Or maybe I was just tired.

booboomamma,
At least you have a job. I have another 2 years left in college. :(

saphire,
I hadn't realised you'd moved. Well, that explains the absence. The change of name was confusing. :)

g-man said...

i didn't get it...and i always thought PHC stood for primary hepatocellular carcinoma

Suma said...

what a satisfying trip :)

the lion sure knew his priorities :)

Mahi said...

interesting read! nice blog u've got there!